Raise your hand if you’re completely and utterly mentally done with school.
Raise your hand if the idea of ending school is too scary.
Raise your hand if you regret most of your decisions these days.
Ha! I caught you, all you three-handed people!
*basks in the sheer unhinged and nonsensical state my mind has been left in.*
Hello! Hi! It’s been like a month! Or 2? I don’t know!
I’m so sorry guys. I didn’t expect to take such a long break, I really didn’t. But one week led to another and, well…
In truth, what little downtime I have, I spend so mind-numbingly exhausted that I can do little more than plop down in front of a video. Or sleep. There’s been a lot of collapsing and un-planned naps right when I come home.
I’m faced with the question: am I taking care of my own mental health, or am I being lazy? You’d think I’d know the difference – but it’s hard, when you’re an inherently lazy person. There’s a (very) thin line between keeping myself relaxed and being over-indulgent.
In any case, while I figure it out, I don’t want to completely vaporize from this place, but I think for me to continue posting on here things will need to change. I can’t do a regular weekly thing, because there’s no guarantees I’ll be able to get things done in time, and also I have to admit that lately, I seem to be tapped for ideas.
So, for now expect logs. Just plain old logs, with no structure. If that doesn’t sound interesting to you, I totally understand. But I need some time to find my footing.
I feel complete and utterly drifting these days. I don’t know what I like anymore, I don’t know how to engage online anymore. Heck, the most activity I’ve done anywhere these last few weeks is the occasional reblog on tumblr.
I don’t even know what it is! I’m taking fewer classes than I have in the past, but this semester is beating my butt harder than almost any other. Like geez, I feel like a ghost. I feel like I’ve ingested a ghost and he’s slowly vacuuming out a void in the core of my being, until all I have left are under-eye bags and a dry ribcage. I wake up tired, I get home tired, I’m even tired right now, at 4 in the afternoon on a weekend as I write this.
Maybe I should post some poetry. Would you guys like to read some poetry? I’m taking a class this semester, so I’ve been writing a lot of that. (not so much on el manuscript, if you were wondering. Inspiration has left along with the feeling of being well rested)
I’m sorry if this got dark. But it’s what’s going on right now. I don’t know how to not be real except to stop talking altogether. And I did that for 3+ weeks.
Have a lovely day guys. I’ll see you again. Eventually. 🙂
-Abigail
Grey Tea Books 
First off you don’t have to justify yourself. School can take so much of your time it’s easy to lose track of everything else. We’re all here to support you. And I’d love to read some poetry 🙂
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Thank you so much for the support 🙂
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